No one ever talks about the reality of becoming a new mom. People will only talk about the beautiful side of motherhood; the name you have chose, the color paint in your nursery, and so on. The things that other mothers will never tell you is the truth. So there you are pregnant, envisioning your perfect baby, birthing plan, and picturing your perfect new life. The one thing that people will never tell you is that it never works out the way that you intend it to and your in for the shock of your life! It’s so much more then just having a baby. Everything in your life is tested from your patience to your marriage. Every parent is just an exhausted imperfect person trying to figure it out day by day, which is the honest truth. But even though you’re so exhausted there you are proceeding to go on Google search to diagnose a new symptom that your baby has at 3 o’clock in the morning. When you become a mom this is your new normal. You become a paranoid psycho thinking everything is something and something is nothing, at least I did. Regardless of having years of healthcare experience it doesn’t matter, a mom is a mom is a mom. As my pediatrician says it’s a blessing and a curse being in the medical field, which is so true. Becoming a mom rocks your whole world. There are many good things that come with motherhood along with some difficult aspects as well. The difficult aspects consist of many emotional struggles, postpartum, arguments with your spouse over sleep, and more. Sometimes you’re so tired that you become wrapped around things that simply don’t matter. However you won’t realize until your child is 8 months old, like I do now. You think of all the things you would and wouldn’t have done differently. But all of these aspects good and bad become how you, your partner and your child grow together as a unit. This becomes a new cycle of learning about one another, which allows the bond to grow as two become three. No one tells you that there are times when you become so frustrated that you cry and sometimes you and your partner cry together (giggle). There will be many sleepless nights, colic, reflux, constipation, breathing issues and more. These are only some of the things you experience as a new mom. Sometimes it feels like it will never end. As my husband says “It’s always something with this child of ours!” Just when you figure out the perfect routine, your baby grows and it changes again. It can become overwhelming and feel as if you’re never going to be able to come to a conclusion. But eventually you do.
Time Creates Lessons Learned
Some of the things that I have learned along the way is you just have to roll with the punches and go with the flow of this new life. Things change from day to day. As much as you want to stay sheltered within your little mommy bubble at first you eventually have to get out. When I first had my daughter I wanted nothing to do with people. I had no idea that this was normal because no one ever told me about it. It didn’t matter how close of a friend they were because for whatever reason that’s how I felt. I had become the classic “mama bear” shielding my daughter from everything and everyone. Looking back now it’s embarrassing but that is my truth and I embrace it. You become a different person when you become a mom. However don’t beat yourself up over it. As the classic saying goes “You can’t change the past but you can change the future!”
New Mama Lessons
- Each day is a new lesson learned with time things become easier. I’ve learned not to doubt myself as a mom.
- If something works for you don’t fix it because your mom tells you different.
Be secure with your own decision in your heart to know that you are doing the best that you can as a new mom.
- Trust your instincts as a mom. I remember going into the Pediatrician multiple times thinking I was crazy and always leaving the office with a new diagnosis from the doctor. So your not crazy mama.
- Don’t be ashamed to ask for help from others. More then likely people will love to watch the baby for you while you take a nap.
- Call other mamas. If your worried its ok to ask your other mommy friends. This will make you feel better. Even if its your own mom.
- Take some time for yourself even if it’s hard to leave the baby with your husband, mom, boyfriend, sister or friend. Just being able to take a shower will make you feel better. Even if it’s only for 15 minutes. Something is better then nothing. For a long time it was extremely hard for me to leave my daughter with my husband because I was so terrified that something would happen. I’m not sure that all moms experience this, but I did.
I’ve learned short trips are good for your mental health. Even if it’s just going to the grocery store for a milk. It gets you out of the house and able to listen to the radio in the car without all the background noise. That is therapy in itself. Trust me.
This blog is not to point out what you should or shouldn’t do as a mom. This blog isn’t to judge you as a mother but to provide you with some truth that so many of us are afraid to discuss or say. Your story will not be the same as your best friend whose newborn baby sleeps 4 hours a night. Don’t envy her because of this. She may have different struggles that she doesn’t want to talk about. Every mother has her struggle. Everyone has their own story. Sharing your story can only help others in the process and you should never be ashamed of your truth, like I was. We all have our struggles when we become a new mama, and thats ok. So be open, don’t judge, listen to your inner voice, reach out and know your an amazing mama!! Rome wasn’t built in a day and something as precious as motherhood wasn’t either (That one was for you Mom!). So pat yourself on the back, give yourself a little more credit and realize you’re doing a great job mama!! Subscribe to my blog for more to come! As always please like or comment below if you have any thoughts!