Everyone talks about the amazing experience you will have with your child once they are born. You will fall madly in love with them and embrace the motherhood experience as if it’s second nature “The motherly instinct”. So what happens when that’s not the case?
Welcome to My Story
Everyday of my pregnancy I felt as one with my child, literally. I was reminded of all of these beautiful things that would happen after having a baby. Two months post baby I’m thinking.. Pump the breaks… Why don’t I feel this? I remember giving birth and instantly falling in love with my child but as the time progressed I began to feel numb. I almost felt like I was lost and I didn’t know why. I would cry for nearly everything. I felt resentment toward my husband and his freedom to just leave to go to work. Everyday there I was in a repetitive motion doing the daily routines of motherhood not feeling a single emotion. Sometimes I would take a shower in the middle of the day and just cry… Like ugly cry. I couldn’t understand why I didn’t feel like more of a “mom”. I began to question if there was something wrong with me. For a while I would discuss this with my doctor but she was certain it was just new parent jitters. I started to realize that my worst nightmare was coming true… I’m not going to be a good mom.
When people would talk about postpartum I never realized the severity it can have on your life. Hello Anxiety… There’s something about having a baby that gives you this ugly pit in your stomach. You worry about everything! It’s something only a mother could truly understand. Every thing would stress me out. The mere fact of her crying and not settling was torture in itself and I was crumbling. Inside I was screaming while I was silent
on the outside. With so many people wanting to see the baby I felt like I was surrounded and held at gun point. Another shower, and more tears… What’s wrong with me?? At every turn I wanted to hide from the world. I wanted nothing to do with outsiders even if they were my closest friends.
5 things you can do to help with your postpartum
- Talk To Someone You Trust.
Looking back at the beginning of my story as a mom the one thing I regret most is not allowing my friends to be around. This could have really helped me from spiraling into postpartum and really helped during my time of need. When you’re going through something like postpartum you become someone you know longer recognize. This is why you need support more then ever.
2. Learn To Accept Support from Others
If you are anything like me “sufferer in silence type” you know what I’m talking about, “you’ll figure it out!” Trust me when I say that the best thing you can do for yourself is to allow people to be there for you. Accept help from others. This will allow you to gain trust and build your mommy skills.
3. Get Out Of The House
Yes, you are learning everything about motherhood as the days go by. However sometimes it’s healthy to get out for a little while to create some healthy space. At the beginning I was terrified of leaving the house with my baby. For whatever reason? I have no idea why. But even if it’s just for a 5 minute walk to the mail it will allow you to breathe. Some space is needed to allow a recharge for your mental health. I learned that taking walks really helped with my stress and anxiety. Even if the baby starts to cry during the walk the outside scenery is distracting for the both of you. Healthy mama, healthy baby.
4. Asking Others For Advise
Phone a friend or even your mom. Sometimes I like to gain a different perspective other then my own. So I will call on a friend to ask for their opinion. This is always helpful because it allows you to step outside of your own thoughts. Use your resources.
5. Don’t Be Afraid Of Talking With Your Doctor
I know that there is a major stigma with postpartum. Some people do not believe that it exists. I’m here to tell you the ugly truth, that beast is real. So if you feel off talk to your Doctor. You’ll be surprised to find out how supportive they are.
I hope you found this insightful and gained some well deserved value. Have a beautiful day! Questions and comments are always invited. Xoxo 💋Real Unicorn Mom